It is my last day in the city. Tomorrow, I am leaving
for home. I will be leaving behind a lot in this city. Friends, new family,
love and a lot of memories. I’m supposed to be happy, I am going home after all.
But six months in this city have given me truckloads of memories that I am not
entirely ready to give up on yet.
I am alone on this bridge. A flyover actually. This is
a place where you can get the closest to the city’s chaos and yet find calmness
in it. This is the place where you should come after a long tiring day. I sit
on a little railing that runs along the footpath. There are a lot of people
here. I see this group of four smoking, two girls eating ice cream and a few
couples finding happiness in their own bubbles.
I feel overwhelmed. At lost about what to do. Tomorrow
holds an entire new life for me and I have no idea what will happen. I feel
like hiding. I feel like pausing the time continuum at this exact moment. Let the
world be damned. There are things I am not ready to let go of, things I need to fix first, things that define what I shall become in life.
I close my eyes and try to pull myself away from
everything around. I am not in the best place to do so but the winds that all
these cars are leaving behind is helping. The lights, sounds and chatters
starts to fade. I inhale loudly and after a minute, open my eyes.
Now I am not alone. She’s here.
She is sitting right beside me.
She smiles at me and a thousand butterflies come alive
in my stomach. This ‘she’ always sends my emotions on an uphill journey. “Hi,”
she says.
I don’t reply. I feel stuck. I wasn’t expecting her.
But she’s here.
I extend my hand impulsively towards her face. I touch
her face softly; afraid she may disappear anytime now. Her soft skin graze
along my rough fingers and it all feel real. She is really here. By my side. And
smiling.
She looks beautiful. Always do. Today, she has a small
line of kajal around her almond-shaped eyes. Her tiny crooked nose compliments
her beautiful peach lips. And her smile? Don’t get me started on that.
“You came?” I manage to whisper. My heart already starting
to ache by her presence.
“Yes, I have to say goodbye,” she replies. Coming closer
to me, she slowly pulls me into her until we are hugging. It is a very tight
hug. Both of us holds each other like it is last time. Maybe because it is.
Thanks to her short height, her head perfectly fits
into my chest. I know she can feel my heartbeats. I remember a memory of us
when I had said to her that my heart doesn’t beat like dhup-dhup-dhup but instead says her name with every beat. A smile
automatically creeps into my face. I look down at her and she is smiling too. Maybe
she also remembers.
I never knew I had the guts to do this but the next
thing I do is pull her up and make our lips touch. Soft and firm, she kisses me
back with all her love. Someone around us hoot but we do not care.
We keep kissing and in this time, I feel light. Burdens
slowly fade away. Promises silently getting fulfilled. Two souls let go of pain
and the bitter memories of a breakup that happened two weeks ago. Things look
nice now.
“Is this your goodbye?” I say after we stop kissing.
A smile forms into her lips and it is at this moment
that I realise everything will be alright. That her love is the antidote to
everything bad in my life.
“Not a goodbye,” she whispers and I smile. She is here. She
is here to stay.